If at some point before the wedding your other half said they feel left out, wouldn’t it just break your heart? Unfortunately, some people (especially some guys) may be afraid to speak up, for fear of upsetting you. But it’s so easy to make sure it doesn’t happen – just see below.
Having a bridezilla day every day
You may think your other half’s normal reaction would be to run and hide behind the nearest large object – the couch, the car, or that hill over there. But in fact, their first initial response would be to feel left out and helpless. This is totally logical – they love you and they don’t like to see you upset. Of course, every bride will have several of those ‘I can’t even’ days. So when you feel this way, ask for a hug – works like a charm.
Not allocating enough funds for your other half
Uff, this is a biggie. We’ve seen budgets with thousands at the top of the list – venue, catering, dress… then, looking down, the numbers getting smaller and smaller… what’s this, near the bottom? €200 allocated to the groom for EVERYTHING? Your other half deserves special treatment too – including a new outfit, pampering (at least one visit to the top barber in the city for the gents), and of course the all-important accessories, like new shoes, cufflinks, etc.
Not being consulted about the big things
Do you know this joke? A man says ‘when we got married, my wife and I decided I’ll make all the big decisions, and she’ll make the small ones. So far, during our 30 years together, we didn’t have any big decisions to make’. Geddit? So your other half doesn’t know the difference between pink and peach. It’s ok. It may not be their opinion you’re after – but you must make sure you discuss budget adjustments, unplanned spending, increasing the guest list, and any other important stuff, together.
Not spending any wedding-free time together
A wedding is a huge mountain to climb. But you can’t do it at the expense of your day-to-day relationship. You absolutely must must must have days away from it all – and many of them should be spent with your other half, doing what you both love best. Pizza and Netflix, countryside walks, cosy pints in the pub… whatever was ‘your thing’ before, it must continue. Don’t give up on the things that bring you closer.
Above image from Rachael & Robert’s real wedding by David Maury Photography
Being told ‘no’ to every suggestion
Saying ‘no’ is super important when you’re a bride. No to the unsolicited advice. No to getting less service for more money. No to people asking if they can do a breakdance solo at the reception. No to uninvited guests. In fact, you may even be on ‘no’ autopilot. But remember – your other half’s opinion and ideas really matter, even if they seem crazy. Give them the consideration they deserve, so they don’t feel left out – they may just have something totally brilliant up their sleeve.
Telling them to ‘just turn up on the day’
So many brides think that’s what their other half wants. Well, even if he or she says that, it’s simply not true. Put yourself in their shoes. You’re told to show up at a particular place on a particular day, to get dressed up for it, and to be on time. You do all this. You’re standing at the altar just before the bride arrives, looking around at everyone. And you’re thinking ‘it’s one of the most important days of my life, and I didn’t have anything to do with it’. It’s heartbreaking, and doesn’t feel like ‘your’ day at all. Is this what you want your other half to think?
Not letting them check out that checklist
Have you seen a wedding checklist? It’s got enough on it for twelve people to do, let alone two. Give the list to your other half at the start of the planning, and ask them to choose the tasks they want to help with. Usually, the guys will pick the transport, the band and the catering. Give them whatever they want – then check in from time to time to make sure things are actually being done.
Not discussing the honeymoon
If you’ve already been on some holidays together, you’ll have an idea of what you both like. Don’t assume your other half will want to do exactly that. This is a once in a lifetime trip – maybe they want to do something completely different? Don’t book anything without making a joint decision. Being told to go on a holiday they didn’t want is a sure way to make your other half feel left out.
Above image by Feather & Stone Photography via Green Wedding Shoes
Main image by Women in Wedding
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